What would [my character] do?”
It’s a common question we ask ourselves when playing role playing games and the decision process wrapped up inside is a tricky one. Let’s explore it!
Backstory - How does the history of who we are influence the decision we are likely to make next? Where are we in that story? Will we repeat past mistakes or learn and heal from them? Remember what challenges you’ve already faced along the way and tap into that well of resilience.
Values - What is most important to me? Friendship? Honor? Keeping the peace? Are any of my personal values in conflict?
Consequences - Am I willing to accept the consequences of this course of action? Am I chaotic good and just don’t give a f*** as long as it’s for the greater good? What commitments am I bound to honor in the face of adversity?
EPIC - What is the decision I can make that would honor my personal legacy? Will I regret this decision if I play it safe? What will bring joy to the moment I am in right now? Am I living up to my hero within?
In role playing games, understanding our character helps us make informed decisions in line with not just who they are, but also who they want to be at the end of their quest. In real life, we can do the same.
Outside of the game, we often experience a conflict between external voices and our embodied voices. External voices offer advice, peer pressure, and indicators of what we SHOULD do and can create a feeling of shame, guilt, doubt, and entrapment. This is what makes some decisions (especially big ones) so agonizing, mores o if we’ve started to internalize these outside influences. Typically, when we are “stuck in our head,” we are debating with external voices.
As coaches, we sometimes personify these voices as “should goblins” - you SHOULD do this, you SHOULD do that. They are external expectations, not our own. Often these “should goblins” want us to be happy, they want us to feel accepted, they want us to feel at peace - they just aren’t really great in their methods and tend to leave us exactly where we are. Listen to what need they have, but focus on your own method for meeting that need.
Embodied voices want us to move towards freedom - they want us to be empowered, chase what we want, and embrace who we want to become. We tend to feel these voices in our own body; it’s why we “listen to our gut” or experience “heartache.” When we listen to our embodied voices, we tend to “hear” them in our body below the neck and they are our source of truth.
Within all of this, we start to see creative tensions emerge (aka constraints) that result because we only have one life and only so much time on this planet. What to do, what to do, what to do?
Each decision we make is a vote for who we want to become.
This week, we’ll tackle these “should goblins” head on so you can pay more attention to those embodied voices. Often, we want similar things when we make a decision - safety, stability, freedom, and peace – the harder question is how we get there. By envisioning who we truly want to become, we can make decisions with greater ease.
Now, forget your character for a moment… What would YOU do?
Sincerely, Autumn & Jerod #ChaoticGoodVibesOnly
Download the Session 4 Notes Here! What's Inside:
Stop back & forth decision-making
Nat 20 your resilience checks
Vote for who you want to become
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